Hi awak :) I don't know if you need comfort ke apa at the moment.. But hopefully you read this first ;) cakap2 seorg kwn, tak pun cakap2 seorg yg tua :)

Making decision is never easy. I know. You have to remember, tak kira mana2 keputusan yg ambik, kita kena usaha lebih lepas buat keputusan tu. It is a start. :)

Tak kira isu future yg mana -- kerja, relationship, family -- semua sama, kena usaha.


So kalau nak buat apa2 keputusan, kena make sure kita nak usaha lebih lepas tu. Sebab biasa nya lepas buat keputusan, takde dah pilihan.


Pilih lah mana2 yg awak nak usaha lebih. Contohnya, alam MARITIM vs misc, antara dua tu mana yg lebih berat syg awk, mana yg awak sanggup usaha gila-gila. Sama macam love. Pilih org yg awk sanggup nak susah untuk dia. Bukan yang mana sanggup susah untuk awak.


Sebab at the end of the day, awak je yg boleh make it or break it.


Mana-mana pilihan pun, sure ada problems punya nanti.


So pilih yg awak kuat nak usaha kan.. ;)

I need a break.

I'm not a machine. Please. I've been working on weekends for two weeks in a row. I know, you're doing the same thing too. Yes, I'm a spoilt brat. I need ample rest. Anda-anda memang guru Sukan dan PJK, kilo tak seberat bahasa Inggeris. Pulak saya penyelaras PBS Form 1, I have to make sure everything is well-prepared. And I enjoy preparing lessons (which is my priority) more than anything regardless how crazy my kids made me.


I have no idea what is my role on field. Frustrated more than I can ever imagined.


I don't even have time to train my choral speaking team. :( Have mercy on me.

Terasa.

It has been nearly a month since he started sailing. I never knew that his second sailing would be harder to face. Perhaps I see too many friends happy with their respective lovers, face to face, dating, engaged, get married and have kids. Right-in-front-of-my-eyes relationship. This is something that I couldn't get. Kalau kahwin pun kena tinggal. Even if he is on leave (that one month on land), we couldn't see each other and spend time together like others. I seriously love spending time with him, doing nothing but eat talk eat talk. He is so funny that I couldn't take my eyes and ears off him. Teringin nak shopping mopping dengan Basit.


Why I feel like he's been away for months? He's on Facebook, I know. But both of us are trying to control ourselves not to contact each other, cehhh konon la kan? Padahal masing2 ada je usik2.. Teruk perangai...


Maybe I should suggest him to work on land? Nahhh, I love him to go to the sea. The ocean teaches him how to be a man, a useful man.

Aim.

Mecca al-mukarramah 2014. Wajib.

Bila rasa tak sure dengan segala benda yang dibuat. Feeling ni selalu datang. And I always ease it dengan fikir - money can save everything. Wrong. Konon tu cara paling cepat nak pujuk hati. Wrong every time. But when are you going to learn a lesson Fi?

The moment that I always look forward to

Kejut kan dia bangun pagi. Paling suka. Paling suka walaupun lalu telefon je. Sebab apa? Satu, sebab dia ada step nak bangun. The best part is - dia mesti akan tertidur balik around 5 minutes. He will sleep soundly. And I will listen to his snore. Sebab kedua, mesti lah sebab tak selalu dapat. Sebulan sekali je agaknya dapat kejut gini. Biasanya dia bangun sendiri. Kes-kes terpencil je dia suruh kejut. Ni macam last night dia kerja sampai 430 pagi. Pastu 9 pagi duty lagi. Pengsan.

Tradisi keluarga.

Sedar tradisi yang satu ni masa nak gi hantar Basit balik kerja haritu.

I actually texted his mom, mintak izin nak ambik dia kat Pahang and hantar pegi KL. guess what, Ma tak bagi. Jauh. Mula-mula rasa restless sebab first I'm not going alone, ada Apit ngan Angah, second he'll be going for months and no one will send him off? Weird.

Meanwhile Ibu kat rumah dah tanya. Awak tak pegi anta dia balik ke kak? Kesian dia kan nak gi Japan, bukan dekat2. Lama pulak tu.


See. Now I understand. I was restless bukan sebab Ma tak bagi, tapi sebab tak dapat hantar dia. Memang dari zaman MRSM dulu, naik bus tu rasa baru 3 kali agaknya.


Memang tradisi keluarga rupanya. Nak hantar nak ambik kalau pergi jauh. Takyah jauh, ni Apit dah dapat rumah baru kat Shah Alam pun Ibu nak hantar, tengok apa ada apa takde, tolong kemas.


Talked about our different families.

Petang tu terbang gi Melaka hantar Mawar, then terus gi KL, without him knowing it. Because I know he loves surprises, that kind of surprises.


Dah jumpa depan mata, dia cakap, "saya dah dapat baca, mesti awak datang punya".



Kalau saya tak datang malam ni? - saya tanya.



Basit cakap,"kalau awak tak datang tengok saya malam ni, saya ingat awak tak sayang saya".



Kasar dia, tetap suka perhatian dan sayang. Manja.