I'm no loyal anymore!

Did I tell you about my non-rusty heart?

I think I was wrong.

Now, I don't miss him.

But somehow, he'll appear in my dreams or thought.

I think I have a serious mental problem.

Or is this just the 'post-effect' of loneliness?

I mean, I have no boyfriend for almost two years by now.

Am I longing for that feeling and unfortunately he is the one that I

thought perfect for me.

Oh ya, I have new demand for my so-called 'future-man-that-can-ompliment-me'.

He should have the ability to speak English,

fluently. Not because I can speak English,

but because I want English-speaking environment to bring up our kids.

*awwww, berfikiran jauh gitu!*

So, Mr Ying (I am the Yang),

take note please?

Devils of 8am-5pm

I am going online in class at the moment.
YES, IN CLASS!

MUAHAHAHAHA!

Non-rusty heart

Dear you, you still have the magic spell on me.



I don't know when this feeling is going to rust.

I hope it won't.

Trick O' Treat

For those who know me or close to me, you probably know that I am so difficult to have instant impression/judgement to anyone I just met. I do the same with everyone, regardless his/her relationship with me. You know why? It is because I am very concerned about the consequences. I know this particular person. This person has higher position than me in my workplace - obviously, I am only here for a month! Within this month, I observed that this person treated everyone equally until today. Actually, I wanted to apply a day off this Friday. As part-time full-time lecturer, we have been informed earlier that we have to apply at least three days before the date. So, here I am, applying 4 (four) days earlier than the date I wanted to apply. Then, this particular person called me and asked in high-pitch voice why I wanted to apply the day off.

Yes, I am pissed off too, if that particular person wants to know. I have my own reason to feel that way. Actually, before I submitted the application form, I asked one of my colleagues (new lecturer too). My colleague told me, 'that person is okay, that person told me it is okay if I send day-off application form a day before I want to leave'. There you go. Just because my colleague is the child of Director of this instituiton, this particular person treated my colleague differently. Yes, I know I am nobody's daughter. My parents are not some VIPs. But I tell you what, I am no your slave that you can shout at without concrete reasons.

I feel so broken inside, I am not making this up. Whatever it is, now I know, and I am really sure that I am not good in judging or having impression towards people.

I just wish someday, we will be free from double-standard mindset. But that sounds almost impossible. Therefore, the best way is I will be well-known someday, probably I will be some VIPs/Datin?datuk or whatever the title is. Perhaps, people will treat me equally then?

I teach ABC Part II

I entered class early, around 11.45am.
The class supposed to start at 12pm.
I'm informed that my students will come a little
late on Thursdays because they have to travel from
SL block to Kayangan block. It is far.

I prepared Katy Perry' Fireworks for today's class.
It was meant to spice up their day - after long-hour classes.
Unfortunately, I made their day worst than ever when

1) I asked them to share about a moment when they felt
like they are not worth living (you know, I want to relate
it with the song)
2) I told them Allah will always be around for us

Some of my students cried because...

Her mom said she is a troublesome kid.
The family never celebrated her birthday even once.
Their family problem.
Their late-family members.

The only thing that I can do was to give a warm hug,
wishing that my positive vibe and strength can be transferred
to them automatically. How I wish.

However, they made me feel so grateful for what God has
granted me throughout my life. I couldn't ask for more.

You see, when you feel like you are the dumbest, unluckiest,
ugliest or worst breathing creature on earth - YOU ARE TOTALLY WRONG.

Remember, everyone has own battle to fight.

We can be strong or weak - the choice is in your hand.

May Allah grant my students with good life hereafter.
Amin.

I'm a normal lady - again.

Mind me with my new entry, you can leave if you feel that this is inappropriate. :)

This time around I'd like to share about a woman 'thing'.

After few months, I finally got my menstrual circulation back!

And I feel normal, again!

I've been worrying about this but it is actually not weird because

I have experienced this situation before. So, girls out there! Do not freak

out if you have to face this kind of situation. But, if you are curious,

please refer to your gynaecologist (if I'm not mistaken).

Yet, once I got my 'womenness' back, there's a price to pay.

Yeah, I'm blessed with period pain - head to toe.

Head gets dizzy, backache, aching knees, stomach ache,

bla la la the list goes on.

Hopefully I can stand straight tomorrow.

I don't want to appear sick in class!

Kids, during this time don't mess with me.

*warning alarm ne no ne no*

Ya Allah, please grant me strength to face tomorrow.

ps; Tomorrow is my mommy's birthday and I'm not home :'(

I need strength to face it too.

I teach ABC Part I

I've met all my students today, from Business Management, Information Management and CS (I'm really not sure what this stands for!) They are 18, yes, young and tender! I remember my pre-TESL lecturer said, first year students are innocent and naive, wait until they 'grow' up, we can see their true 'facade'!

I'm honored to stand in front at this age (I'm 23 and not so young yet not that old) as an English lecturer. I never taught I'll be here, never in any of my sweet dreams! Alhamdulillah, I believe this is all in Allah's hand and plann. Thank you, Allah!

SO, this is just a quick sneek peek for you.

I'll update and post pictures later!

ps: Segamat has RM4 meal (rice, fried chicken, sambal, vege, iced lemonade)!

can you believe it?