Love teaches me strange things [Part Two]

I went out with him with Cekyam and Trex.

I actually had spent few private moment with him too.

Don't get me wrong, I drove him to town.

We spent time talking and fighting.

I always love the fighting part. :)

He asked me to do his laundry.

He touched my head like I am a little kid.

He held my hand tight.

He even kissed the back of my hand.

He laid his head on my shoulder for he was

exhausted due to all-day-long games.

All I can do is,

be there.

I know he's waiting for someone,

it makes me feel uneasy about it.

Mind you, Alhamdulillah, when he is around,

or when we were alone together,

I didn't feel awkward anymore.

My heart doesn't beat fast anymore.

But I think I still care.

And my most-happiest smile is still because of him.

I still want everything is well-prepared for him.

Well, it's just my nature.

It's not just him. If anyone is coming over to my place,

I'll try to accommodate as good as I can.

I just wish we can introduce ourselves again,

this time around as friends,

no more no less.

ps: Last night, Cekyam, Trex and I went to karaoke.

Trex sang 'All Coming Back to Me' by Celine Dion. #dang!

Tomorrow.

Course: Let Go 101

#1 Forget his birth date. Forget he was born.

Allah, I depend solely on You.

ps: Pray to have strong heart not stubborn heart ;)

Alhamdulillah, lavish food on the table for us to break fast today.
Angah went out to a restaurant with a friend to break fast. So it was just ayah,
ibu, apit and me. Suddenly, somebody jumped into the most terrifying topic of life -

marriage.

My parents and my lil brother (apit) kept teasing me. FYI, few weeks ago
there was a young man who wants to get to know me.
Sincerely, I'm sorry but he is like a big brother to me. Our family are very close.
I know, he never meant to go further - engagement or marriage.
But personally I don't want to waste time anymore.
No more puppy love - according to what they called it.

Honestly, there are reasons I kindly said no.
I have weaknesses - loads, I tell you.
I don't cook well, I'm a lazy bum, I have pimples
here and there. I don't have money. I have responsibilities
towards my parents, my younger sister and brother, my aunts.

To the kindest man I've ever known, who sincerely had the intention
to get to know me, I wish things will go flawlessly for you.

Thank you :')

I teach ABC Part II

I entered class early, around 11.45am.
The class supposed to start at 12pm.
I'm informed that my students will come a little
late on Thursdays because they have to travel from
SL block to Kayangan block. It is far.

I prepared Katy Perry' Fireworks for today's class.
It was meant to spice up their day - after long-hour classes.
Unfortunately, I made their day worst than ever when

1) I asked them to share about a moment when they felt
like they are not worth living (you know, I want to relate
it with the song)
2) I told them Allah will always be around for us

Some of my students cried because...

Her mom said she is a troublesome kid.
The family never celebrated her birthday even once.
Their family problem.
Their late-family members.

The only thing that I can do was to give a warm hug,
wishing that my positive vibe and strength can be transferred
to them automatically. How I wish.

However, they made me feel so grateful for what God has
granted me throughout my life. I couldn't ask for more.

You see, when you feel like you are the dumbest, unluckiest,
ugliest or worst breathing creature on earth - YOU ARE TOTALLY WRONG.

Remember, everyone has own battle to fight.

We can be strong or weak - the choice is in your hand.

May Allah grant my students with good life hereafter.
Amin.

I'm a normal lady - again.

Mind me with my new entry, you can leave if you feel that this is inappropriate. :)

This time around I'd like to share about a woman 'thing'.

After few months, I finally got my menstrual circulation back!

And I feel normal, again!

I've been worrying about this but it is actually not weird because

I have experienced this situation before. So, girls out there! Do not freak

out if you have to face this kind of situation. But, if you are curious,

please refer to your gynaecologist (if I'm not mistaken).

Yet, once I got my 'womenness' back, there's a price to pay.

Yeah, I'm blessed with period pain - head to toe.

Head gets dizzy, backache, aching knees, stomach ache,

bla la la the list goes on.

Hopefully I can stand straight tomorrow.

I don't want to appear sick in class!

Kids, during this time don't mess with me.

*warning alarm ne no ne no*

Ya Allah, please grant me strength to face tomorrow.

ps; Tomorrow is my mommy's birthday and I'm not home :'(

I need strength to face it too.

A Flashback

6 years ago...
16 May 2005: Haziq, Angah and me took flight from school. My mom waited in the car by the school gate. It was all my idea - to escape Teacher's Day school annual celebration. I was a new girl at that time. Worst, I was a prefect.

7 years ago...
16 May 2004: I purposely told my mom that Teacher's Day is a school holiday. Mama and Angah came all the way to my school (I studied at a boarding school at that time) to take me home. I attended Teacher's Day celebration for half an hour (or less, I believe).

Hence, today is the most precious day for Miss Nur Hafiza Bani aka Cikgu Chopstick to extend my apology and gratitude to every teacher I encountered, am encountering and will encounter. I owe you, hereafter.

This year...
16 May 2011: My students and lovely kids wished me Happy Teacher's Day instead. I hope this is not what people called as karma!

p/s: thank you to Sir Gedek for the warm Happy Teacher's Day wish! Yay!!!

Torn and worn out

One party wants to hire a lawyer to sue us,

while another wants to lodge a report at Bukit Aman Police Station,

and us,

we solely depend on You, Allah.

We don't have money,

we don't have power.

Ya Allah, please listen to our doa.

Love teaches me strange things [Part One]

365 days after the breakup.

Delete from Facebook: Done ✔
Delete from Msn: Done ✔
Delete from cell phone: Done ✔
Delete from the Heart: Done ✔

ps: Love makes me sick, yet I still hope for it to sweep my feet.

Why I (and other girls, perhaps) love fairy tales.

ONE REASON.

Do you aware that fairy tales involve no sexual interest?

Devils in me

Today is Thursday and according to my religion (Islam and I'm happy to be one) tonight is the most beautiful night. We are encouraged to cherish the night by reciting Surah Yassin after we perform Maghrib prayer. Alhamdulillah, I managed to recite the surah tonight.

BUT,
in so much struggle.
SO MUCH STRUGGLE!

I started yawning once I started reciting the first verse!
I barely can open my eyes while reciting it - I was so damn sleepy!
I slapped my face every now and then only to STAY AWAKE.
And after I finally finished reciting everything, I snored like a pig for nearly two hours!

The Devils really have done a great job here.

Dear Allah, please forgive me.

I wonder how they do Qiamulail. I respect them a lot.

ps: Let's be grateful that God doesn't really punish ungrateful devotees right away!

I shouldn't have ever looked at you

You showed me love, without words
You gave me your love, without words
You made me hold my breath waiting for you
But you ran away

Without a word, love leaves me
Without a word, love throws me away

Why does it hurt so much?
Why does it keep hurting?

Without a word, tears fall
Without a word, my heart breaks
Without a word, I wait for love
Without a word, love hurts me

Without a word, goodbyes find me
Without a word, goodbyes come to me
I couldn't even prepare to send you away

I think my heart was surprised

Without a word, it came
Without a word, it went
Without a word, it left

Like the previous fever
I'll just hurt for awhile
Since only scars will be left in the end

ps: May Allah help me with this

A love letter to me.

Just another week.

May all of us are blessed with another year to fight.