The Back Bones

Rupa orang yang dah nak dapat
Bachelor Degree in Education (Teaching English as Second Language)

Second Class (Upper) daripada UiTM untuk Konvo ke 75.

Senang cerita, macam bride-to-be lah neh!

Abeh duit ayah saya perabih sepanjang 5 tahun.

Tak tahu berapa banyak sel ibu mati sebab merisaukan saya yang jauh.

Ni lah punching bag saya kalau tengah mood swing!

Dengan dia, aku selalu jadi ustazah kecik.

Yang kiri sekali tu, marka baby sis. Macam Ehsan Upin Ipin tak?

My official bedmate - nak kahwin dengan dia, jumpa aku dulu.

Best friend dunia akhirat - Yun, hopefully anda tak marah pinjam boyfriend anda!

Apa pun keluar dari mulut dia ni, macam magic.

When books are sooo last season!

Dedicated specially to

Hafiz Fazre

Hasreen

Munirah

and other names I'm not able to mention here

Congratulations on your second graduation!

I don't think we will know each other

without our determination to learn.

Books bring us together,

don't you think so?

All in all, it has been a great 5-year friendship

(except for Hafiz Fazre of course, we've known

each other since we were 16!)

Hafiz Fazre, I know you just love to check

my result every semester without me knowing it.

It really keeps you moving forward, huh?

I'm honored to 'fight' with you that way.

May we have another opportunity to battle in future.

Master degree, perhaps?

Reen & Munni.

Melaka has beautiful memories.

Remember we cheered for our hostel?

Remember we shouted for our level?

Dikir Barat for Dang Anum?

I think we won't forget 'Doncha' dance too!

I miss my free-willy self being around with you.

Well, I'm pretty jealous since this is your second time.

Love teaches me strange things [Part Three]

If I have readers, you may be want to puke.
This week is definitely a melodrama for me.

I should stick to 'keep-distance-to-keep-you-sane-from-previous-failed-relationship' tips.

But, something makes me wonder.

I have come to the point where I love without expectation.
Seriously, I don't know how it happens.

I don't expect him to even love me,
or giving hopeful signs.

Strange.

Or this is not love but a pure madness?

Sometimes I come to think that I'm obsessed,
but if I am, I think I'd kill him and his girlfriend,
just like in the newspapers - splashing acid and whatnot.

Wait, that won't be satisfying.
I'd go for punching and pulling hair.
Dramatic.

To those who have someone to love as lovebirds,
please be grateful. :)

Love teaches me strange things [Part Two]

I went out with him with Cekyam and Trex.

I actually had spent few private moment with him too.

Don't get me wrong, I drove him to town.

We spent time talking and fighting.

I always love the fighting part. :)

He asked me to do his laundry.

He touched my head like I am a little kid.

He held my hand tight.

He even kissed the back of my hand.

He laid his head on my shoulder for he was

exhausted due to all-day-long games.

All I can do is,

be there.

I know he's waiting for someone,

it makes me feel uneasy about it.

Mind you, Alhamdulillah, when he is around,

or when we were alone together,

I didn't feel awkward anymore.

My heart doesn't beat fast anymore.

But I think I still care.

And my most-happiest smile is still because of him.

I still want everything is well-prepared for him.

Well, it's just my nature.

It's not just him. If anyone is coming over to my place,

I'll try to accommodate as good as I can.

I just wish we can introduce ourselves again,

this time around as friends,

no more no less.

ps: Last night, Cekyam, Trex and I went to karaoke.

Trex sang 'All Coming Back to Me' by Celine Dion. #dang!

A boy in me.

I cut my hair short.

I love it!
I love it!
I love it!

Heart speaks

I'm pretty sure, whenever I had girls' talk with my girlfriends

I listed out HIS flaws to our 'historical' relationship.

I know I have been half honest for that matter.

I have never admit my flaws.

I actually could not bring myself to talk about it.

I hope my girls will forgive this side of me.

#1 I realize that I somehow acted like a boyfriend instead of girlfriend.

"You HEAD this relationship, so do whatever you want"

HE said that once.

#2 I always know what to do. I always act like I know in front of him

even if I don't. I would go extra miles to GOGGLE things up for him.

I think Miss-Know-It-All is boring and annoying!

#3 Whenever I caught him flirting, I didn't really get mad.

I just addressed the issue until he said "You don't really care, kan?"

I think I acted like an ignorant girlfriend when I actually tried

to be understanding.

#4 I have this my-fantasy-future-husband picture in my head.

Unfortunate HIM, I expected HIM to BE that prince charming.

Hey young lady, how can you be so out of mind?

#5 Most of the time when I spent with him, I'd fill it up

with fights. Somehow, I was aware what HE wanted but I didn't

want to give HIM. I don't know even up to now why

I acted that way. I just like to fight with HIM.

"Why don't you be a good girlfriend of mine?"

HE even asked me that once.

Haziq, sorry.

FUTURE

It is actually operating now!

Alhamdulillah!

This is a laundry shop owned by our family.
It is located in Pasir Gudang Johor.
This is the exact address so you can come over and get our service!

Please note that we take clothes, curtains, carpets, overall (engineers'
attire), dry-cleaning service, shoes, and more!

Those who are around here, even if you love doing laundry on
your own, please help me spread the words okay!
*I dedicate this reminder for someone's boyfriend who is
currently staying and studying around Pasir Gudang*

Dobi Qha Eesya,

No 62, Jalan Sejambak 14,
Taman Bukit Dahlia,
81700 Pasir Gudang Johor.

Kindly contact these following numbers for assistance:

019-742 6348/013-786 2222/017-739 8868

We provide delivery service as well,
so don't bother to get your car key!
We are just a call-away!

My new ABC

I am learning Han guel!

ㅏa
ㅑ ya

and I'm so in ♥ with my new ABC!

p/s: I wish to meet F4 one day!

A phone call

My phone rang when I was deep in sleep.

Without looking at the screen, I picked up the call,

thinking nobody else would be on the other line except

my darling mom. But...

H: Oi, apasal tak wish orang ha?

Me: *looking at the screen and swearing who the hell

is on the line*

Found out it was him.

And I answered...

Me: Oh, nantilah... wish dengan hadiah skali nanti.

Bagi alamat rumah lah ea?

H: Takyah lah, orang nak datang Segamat. Ada Karisma.

Boleh lah bawak orang jalan2 Segamat.

(Karisma is a sports event)

Me: *silent*

I laughed when I heard about him coming here.

It was few months ago when I saw the poster, got excited and

a thought came to my mind.

"H must be joining this. I'm going to see him! Tapi alamak,

it's on November lah. I won't be here anymore. Too bad."

The thought faded away within seconds.

Surprisingly, it is happening. I noticed one thing,

I didn't get excited anymore when he told me about it.

Probably because I'm no longer interested or

because I just woke up from sleep.

Then I realized, I am feeling excited because

I ask myself to think about it.

In conclusion,

I am definitely confused.

ps: Too bad I didn't feel 'blooming' inside when he said

he is coming over. You know, the feeling which makes you feel

so beautiful, feeling which makes your world turns colorful.

I used to have that feeling.

SISTERS

Would love to spend another fun next time.

Summerset in Pahang is in my mind. Anyone?

'Thanx coz x wish my bufday' (H, 12:42:05am, 28 Sept 2011)

Tomorrow.

Course: Let Go 101

#1 Forget his birth date. Forget he was born.

Allah, I depend solely on You.

ps: Pray to have strong heart not stubborn heart ;)

Alhamdulillah, lavish food on the table for us to break fast today.
Angah went out to a restaurant with a friend to break fast. So it was just ayah,
ibu, apit and me. Suddenly, somebody jumped into the most terrifying topic of life -

marriage.

My parents and my lil brother (apit) kept teasing me. FYI, few weeks ago
there was a young man who wants to get to know me.
Sincerely, I'm sorry but he is like a big brother to me. Our family are very close.
I know, he never meant to go further - engagement or marriage.
But personally I don't want to waste time anymore.
No more puppy love - according to what they called it.

Honestly, there are reasons I kindly said no.
I have weaknesses - loads, I tell you.
I don't cook well, I'm a lazy bum, I have pimples
here and there. I don't have money. I have responsibilities
towards my parents, my younger sister and brother, my aunts.

To the kindest man I've ever known, who sincerely had the intention
to get to know me, I wish things will go flawlessly for you.

Thank you :')

I'm no loyal anymore!

Did I tell you about my non-rusty heart?

I think I was wrong.

Now, I don't miss him.

But somehow, he'll appear in my dreams or thought.

I think I have a serious mental problem.

Or is this just the 'post-effect' of loneliness?

I mean, I have no boyfriend for almost two years by now.

Am I longing for that feeling and unfortunately he is the one that I

thought perfect for me.

Oh ya, I have new demand for my so-called 'future-man-that-can-ompliment-me'.

He should have the ability to speak English,

fluently. Not because I can speak English,

but because I want English-speaking environment to bring up our kids.

*awwww, berfikiran jauh gitu!*

So, Mr Ying (I am the Yang),

take note please?

Devils of 8am-5pm

I am going online in class at the moment.
YES, IN CLASS!

MUAHAHAHAHA!

Non-rusty heart

Dear you, you still have the magic spell on me.



I don't know when this feeling is going to rust.

I hope it won't.

Trick O' Treat

For those who know me or close to me, you probably know that I am so difficult to have instant impression/judgement to anyone I just met. I do the same with everyone, regardless his/her relationship with me. You know why? It is because I am very concerned about the consequences. I know this particular person. This person has higher position than me in my workplace - obviously, I am only here for a month! Within this month, I observed that this person treated everyone equally until today. Actually, I wanted to apply a day off this Friday. As part-time full-time lecturer, we have been informed earlier that we have to apply at least three days before the date. So, here I am, applying 4 (four) days earlier than the date I wanted to apply. Then, this particular person called me and asked in high-pitch voice why I wanted to apply the day off.

Yes, I am pissed off too, if that particular person wants to know. I have my own reason to feel that way. Actually, before I submitted the application form, I asked one of my colleagues (new lecturer too). My colleague told me, 'that person is okay, that person told me it is okay if I send day-off application form a day before I want to leave'. There you go. Just because my colleague is the child of Director of this instituiton, this particular person treated my colleague differently. Yes, I know I am nobody's daughter. My parents are not some VIPs. But I tell you what, I am no your slave that you can shout at without concrete reasons.

I feel so broken inside, I am not making this up. Whatever it is, now I know, and I am really sure that I am not good in judging or having impression towards people.

I just wish someday, we will be free from double-standard mindset. But that sounds almost impossible. Therefore, the best way is I will be well-known someday, probably I will be some VIPs/Datin?datuk or whatever the title is. Perhaps, people will treat me equally then?

I teach ABC Part II

I entered class early, around 11.45am.
The class supposed to start at 12pm.
I'm informed that my students will come a little
late on Thursdays because they have to travel from
SL block to Kayangan block. It is far.

I prepared Katy Perry' Fireworks for today's class.
It was meant to spice up their day - after long-hour classes.
Unfortunately, I made their day worst than ever when

1) I asked them to share about a moment when they felt
like they are not worth living (you know, I want to relate
it with the song)
2) I told them Allah will always be around for us

Some of my students cried because...

Her mom said she is a troublesome kid.
The family never celebrated her birthday even once.
Their family problem.
Their late-family members.

The only thing that I can do was to give a warm hug,
wishing that my positive vibe and strength can be transferred
to them automatically. How I wish.

However, they made me feel so grateful for what God has
granted me throughout my life. I couldn't ask for more.

You see, when you feel like you are the dumbest, unluckiest,
ugliest or worst breathing creature on earth - YOU ARE TOTALLY WRONG.

Remember, everyone has own battle to fight.

We can be strong or weak - the choice is in your hand.

May Allah grant my students with good life hereafter.
Amin.

I'm a normal lady - again.

Mind me with my new entry, you can leave if you feel that this is inappropriate. :)

This time around I'd like to share about a woman 'thing'.

After few months, I finally got my menstrual circulation back!

And I feel normal, again!

I've been worrying about this but it is actually not weird because

I have experienced this situation before. So, girls out there! Do not freak

out if you have to face this kind of situation. But, if you are curious,

please refer to your gynaecologist (if I'm not mistaken).

Yet, once I got my 'womenness' back, there's a price to pay.

Yeah, I'm blessed with period pain - head to toe.

Head gets dizzy, backache, aching knees, stomach ache,

bla la la the list goes on.

Hopefully I can stand straight tomorrow.

I don't want to appear sick in class!

Kids, during this time don't mess with me.

*warning alarm ne no ne no*

Ya Allah, please grant me strength to face tomorrow.

ps; Tomorrow is my mommy's birthday and I'm not home :'(

I need strength to face it too.

I teach ABC Part I

I've met all my students today, from Business Management, Information Management and CS (I'm really not sure what this stands for!) They are 18, yes, young and tender! I remember my pre-TESL lecturer said, first year students are innocent and naive, wait until they 'grow' up, we can see their true 'facade'!

I'm honored to stand in front at this age (I'm 23 and not so young yet not that old) as an English lecturer. I never taught I'll be here, never in any of my sweet dreams! Alhamdulillah, I believe this is all in Allah's hand and plann. Thank you, Allah!

SO, this is just a quick sneek peek for you.

I'll update and post pictures later!

ps: Segamat has RM4 meal (rice, fried chicken, sambal, vege, iced lemonade)!

can you believe it?

A Flashback

6 years ago...
16 May 2005: Haziq, Angah and me took flight from school. My mom waited in the car by the school gate. It was all my idea - to escape Teacher's Day school annual celebration. I was a new girl at that time. Worst, I was a prefect.

7 years ago...
16 May 2004: I purposely told my mom that Teacher's Day is a school holiday. Mama and Angah came all the way to my school (I studied at a boarding school at that time) to take me home. I attended Teacher's Day celebration for half an hour (or less, I believe).

Hence, today is the most precious day for Miss Nur Hafiza Bani aka Cikgu Chopstick to extend my apology and gratitude to every teacher I encountered, am encountering and will encounter. I owe you, hereafter.

This year...
16 May 2011: My students and lovely kids wished me Happy Teacher's Day instead. I hope this is not what people called as karma!

p/s: thank you to Sir Gedek for the warm Happy Teacher's Day wish! Yay!!!

Silence.

I'm a Pirate, Take Me to the Stranger Tides!

Set sail, ahoy!

Aye, I'm a proud pirate because...

u may think that we have airplanes by now but c'mon, eagles are too small

for heroes, lets fight with the shark!

practical and have the element of ledendary

ps: pirate girls always wish to paint their nails with OPI's

*battling eyelashes*

yeah, girls rarely can read map but this map is just splendid!

Arrr, take me on the scalwags Gar!

ps: I'm on the shore on 16 May :P

Going through hell

Thesis: Write till I drop.

#nowplaying Tearin' Up My Heart by NSync

I don't care.

ps: coming up next My Thesis Date videoclip

CONTEST FREE PHOTOSHOOT FARIDISM PHOTOGRAPHY

ehem, ehem.

therefore,

pictures in my mind,

I wanna be a happy fake bride,

with balloons

dresses

flowers

cameras.

I'd be honoured if you choose me,

oh ya, these girls are my bridesmaids,

me tag: kazira, wanie, syiera, nashrah, gedek, afro

Small things that enlighten me: Chapter One

redza minhat: @cikguchopstick you know a circular reference in excel?

You can't define it prior to getting it, but defining it after getting it doesn't solve the equation.

To Redza Minhat, you just made this silly little girl happy.

I personally feel 'important' and I feel like I'm a serious matter, not a kid.

I feel my voice is heard, what I ask is needed to be considered.

Thank you, Encik Redza :)

Witch or bitch?

I went to the faculty library today.

And for the first time in my life, I wrote a blackmail to a guy.

Please note that black pen is my handwriting, his is blue.

I'll put this as the most embarrassing event in 2011.

To you, I'm dearly sorry for making you leave the place.

You shouldn't leave, slowing down the volume is more than enough.

And, thank you for the *work hard :)

Torn and worn out

One party wants to hire a lawyer to sue us,

while another wants to lodge a report at Bukit Aman Police Station,

and us,

we solely depend on You, Allah.

We don't have money,

we don't have power.

Ya Allah, please listen to our doa.

A gastroporn star [The First Chapter]

Yeay! This is my very first-without-anyone-help-ayam-masak-kicap!

Zawani (Master chef 1): Your fried chicken tastes good!

Kazira (Master chef 2) & Syiera (Master chef 3) : You can get married now!

Me: *blush*

Just wanna share my mom recipe :)

Ingredients:

1) chicken drumsticks and wings - CLEANLY WASHED

2) star anise (bunga lawang) , fennel seed (jintan manis) , cinnamon (kayu manis)

3) turmeric powder (serbuk kunyit)

4) salt

5) sweet soya bean sauce

6) the blended mixture (dried chillies, onions and garlics - you know how to prepare this right?)

7) lemon grass

8) cooking oil (what do you expect?)

The simple steps:

1) mix chicken with the turmeric powder as well as salt (I put very little salt)

2) prepare and heat the cooking oil (I used a lot and make sure the oil is well-heated)

3) fry the chicken (obviously) until is is well-cooked

4) take out the fried chicken (dry up the remaining oil)

*tips: Well-heated oil will fry the chicken nicely. You don't fry the chicken too long.

Now, prepare new pan to cook!

1) pour some cooking oil (preferably new oil) and heat it well

(make sure the oil is more than the blended mixture)

2) fry star anise, fennel seed and cinnamon until they produce nice smell

2) pour the blended mixture (if you want it to be spicy, then put extra)

3) wait until it is half dry and add the lemon grass

4) pour the sweet soya bean sauce as much as you want

(I love the dish to be gravy, so I pour a lot)

5) now you can add the fried chicken and mix them well

That's it!

Please try it at your own kitchen!

let's be classy & nostalgic - let's go black & white!

Here, the Beavers going black & white!

*PLEASE CLICK ON THE PHOTO TO HAVE LARGER VIEW*

The tired Bs!

What would I do if I win?

Go to photo shop -> print this photo as big as possible -> frame it nicely -> hang it on the wall.

Allah, I wish this friendship last forever.

Making your shopping crave less guilty

You DEFINITELY don't wanna miss this out!

You and me are going to indulge in zillions fun

1. CHEAP, REAL CHEAP famous books and novels!

2. HIGH QUALITY clothes, tudung, and pre-loved items!

3. DANCE, DURIAN, RIBENA ROXX, and FOOOOOD!

4. okay, too much to be listed out - just imagine six big canopies to walk around!

There's an extra credit to this event,

YOU have fun AND,

YOU DONATE!

God bless every single soul of the contributors!

Didn't I tell you this can make your shopping crave less guilty?

Caught right-handed!

I was caught by Macik Guard in front of my faculty gate;
for dressing this way!

Macik Guard: Why are you wearing these?
Me: ??? *confused and innocent face*
Macik Guard: You are obliged to cover your butts! You have to wear long shirts!
Me: Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize it!

Sincerely, I don't realize it for God sake! I was thinking,
I'm wearing a proper, formal attire. Fullstop.
Plus, I feel good in it. So, why not?

But then again, rules are rules.

ps: I think I was daydreaming before going to class this morning,
I thought I was a lecturer :p

Love teaches me strange things [Part One]

365 days after the breakup.

Delete from Facebook: Done ✔
Delete from Msn: Done ✔
Delete from cell phone: Done ✔
Delete from the Heart: Done ✔

ps: Love makes me sick, yet I still hope for it to sweep my feet.

the DARAs

the DARAs.

I'd love to send my syukur (gratitude) to God for sending me
these people to look after me when my pa&ma are not around.

From your left: Zawani, me, Fauzan, Syiera, Kazira.

These people are responsible for me being a fat-ass.
They cook delicious thing everyday.

ps: I always wonder how we can cope with our differences. I guess, God has done a great job here! ;)

Why I (and other girls, perhaps) love fairy tales.

ONE REASON.

Do you aware that fairy tales involve no sexual interest?

my boyfriend.

Tonight, I have discovered a new reality about F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P
between A HERO and A HEROIN
(not a fact because it might not be applicable to every soul under the clouds).

1. I have a male best friend. 'Girls and boys can never be just friends' is just a MYTH to me. He has a girlfriend. I'm happy for him. IMPORTANT FACT: This guy used to be my boyfriend. hehe.

2. Friendship doesn't come along with 'CALL-ME-EVERY-MINUTE-YOU-HAVE' terms and conditions. Me & my guy best friend contact each other once in a month. Or once in a year. But, the 'heart connection' is beyond that. We care and we trust.

3. How do you know he/she is your best friend? Best friends respect each other. Respect each other's opinions, interests, weaknesses. We joke but we don't hurt.

ps: Even when you have opportunities to go beyond friendship, keep in mind that you gonna hurt someone else (if he/she has a love). Be empathetic, be kind.

Dearest Hafiz Fazre,
you are the precious ruby.

Super brat!

* Jom join contest ni! Klik klik kat gambar atas ;)

Lets say Halo to Hang Nadim!

See, dia sangat hero kan?
Tengok aje lah 'tanjak' dia. Jambu.
Tu, celana (seluar - saje bagi dramatik) biru bunga.

He is my very own 'Hang Nadim'.
*okay, saya exaggerate sebab nama dia Nadim je sebenarnya :P

Macam Hang Nadim the legend, my Nadim is also a witty boy.
Cuma satu je beza.
My Nadim is a cam-whore!

*Saya mahu tengok gambar comel:
1) qaseh
2) miss b
3) zawani